


Five years

by mintlattes



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gekijouban Gintama Kanketsu-hen: Yorozuya yo Eien Nare | Be Forever Yorozuya, Gen, Reunion, can be read either from a friendship perspective or a romantic one, it’s not actually that angsty it’s quite hopeful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintlattes/pseuds/mintlattes
Summary: Kagura visits Gintoki’s grave, but discovers she’s not the only one there.
Relationships: Kagura & Okita Sougo, Kagura/Okita Sougo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Five years

**Author's Note:**

> this isn’t my first gintama fanfic but it’s the first i’m posting here sjsjs i’m not confident with how i characterised them so pls keep that in mind but i hope u enjoy regardless :)

It’ll be five years next month. 

Snow falls, cold and unforgiving. The chill in the air is biting, almost painful as it nips at her fingertips and cheeks. Above, the sky is the colour of steel, the clouds like a fortress blocking any beam of sunlight from passing through. Everything is painted in a shade of grey, as if the colour has been sucked out of it, and nothing bright allowed to remain.

For Kagura, that happened on one specific day. The happiness, the familiarity, the comfort in her life was all stripped away after a single event. Now, everything feels unsure, hollow, terrifying. She can’t remember the easy contentedness she used to feel each day, the laughter and the reassurance from being around people who loved her. First, one of those people left the world. Second, everyone else left her in his wake. They did not die, but it almost feels worse. They chose to leave her all alone. 

As she stands there, she is helpless to all of her feelings from the past years washing over her in a flood. She feels as though she’s drowning in it all, the cold ache in her chest, the hot sting in her eyes from threatening tears. But still, she doesn’t allow herself to cry. She forces herself to make the smile she always gave him, naive and cheerful and optimistic, without all of the emptiness she now possesses. 

“Gin-chan,” she murmurs, eyes not leaving the gravestone in front of her. It’s an empty grave, of course, but she comes here when she doesn’t know what to do. It offers her a small amount of comfort, and she can almost picture him standing there with that apathetic expression on his face, one finger up his nose and _Jump_ open on the desk in front of him. “It’s been nearly five years, now.” She takes a deep breath, fighting the tears that are welling in the corners of her eyes. She won’t cry. Not after all this time. “I’m all alone, Gin-chan. Shinpachi and I don’t talk anymore. Whenever we do see each other, we just fight over who’ll carry on your legacy. The two of us can’t laugh together anymore. Not without you.” 

With numb, trembling fingers, she takes a small box out of her pocket and fumbles it open. She pulls a small green strip out and puts it into her mouth. The taste of the pickled seaweed is sour, and so familiar and nostalgic that it causes an ache in her heart. It brings back bright memories of the three of them fooling about on an odd job, of having adventures with the other residents of Edo, of the childish innocence and happiness that permeated every day back then. All of it, gone. Replaced with loss, destruction, disease and coldness. 

“We need you, Gin-chan,” she continues. “We need you to come home. I’m waiting for you to crawl in from your bender and to welcome you back, to berate you for not paying me and spending all our money on drinks and pachinko and parfaits.” She swallows, eyes not leaving the rough grey of the gravestone, the characters written there. “There’s no one by my side anymore. It’s not just Shinpachi. Zura got arrested, and so did that idiot gorilla. I heard they’re going to execute them. The rest of the Shinsengumi joined up with Zura’s joui rebels, but I haven’t seen the mayo freak or even that idiot sadist in years. And  _ Anego _ —,” she falters, thinking of cold hospital rooms and brown hair turned stark white. “I need you, Gin-chan. We all do.” 

Kagura sits in front of the grave for a few minutes in silence, fighting to stop her tears from falling. She hugs her arms around her knees, snow coming down and landing in her hair. She thinks she should probably feel cold, considering how she’s not even dressed for the weather, but all she feels is the hollow, all-enveloping emptiness of loss. 

Suddenly, she hears the scuffling of footsteps nearby and becomes acutely aware of another presence. She snaps out of her thoughts instantly, reaching for the handle of her purple umbrella. It could be a member of one of the many gangs that have formed since Earth fell to the White Plague, or a grave robber, as she knows that has also become a common practice among people desperate for money. She spins around, pointing her umbrella, poised to shoot, in the direction of the noise. And freezes still as the gravestones surrounding her.

The person she sees standing in front of her is none of the things she envisioned. She takes a moment to register exactly who it is she’s seeing—it’s been so long—but although he looks somewhat different, she’d know that idiotic face anywhere. He’s none of the things she imagined seeing, no, he’s a thousand times worse. No matter how much she could try to forget him, the times they spent together—fighting each other, exchanging petty insults, fighting together—are burned into her mind like a brand. Whether she likes it or not, he’s as much a part of those far-gone days as anyone else. The sight of him makes her chest constrict involuntarily. 

His red-brown eyes are unwavering, trained directly on her. He does not flinch, doesn’t even blink, despite the umbrella she has pointed to his head. He’s holding something in his arms—a book, maybe, she can’t tell in this light. “China girl,” he says, like he always used to.

It’s been a long time since anyone’s called her that. 

Kagura scowls at him. “Sadist,” she returns, like she always used to. Their meeting would almost be nostalgic, she thinks, if not for the fact that the two of them hated each other back then and will always continue to. That doesn’t change. But it’s familiar, unlike everything she’s faced in the past few years. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugs, lifting up the book in his hand. “Same reason as you.” 

Now that she can get a closer look at it, she recognises the colourful magazine, and a wave of nostalgia washes over her. It’s an issue of weekly _Shounen Jump_ , dated to almost five years ago. On the cover, Ginta, Gurako and Patsuan of Gintaman are depicted. She can remember the very same issue lying on Gintoki’s desk not long before he went missing, can recall him leafing through it on lazy, carefree afternoons. “Where did you get that? They haven’t made them for years.” 

“I found it lying around,” Sougo replies. His eyes move over to the gravestone behind Kagura. “Thought he would appreciate it the most out of anyone.”

She glares at him. “Since when do you care about anyone?”

“I owe a lot to him. And besides, unlike you, I actually like  _ danna _ .” 

Kagura lowers her umbrella reluctantly, but crosses her arms over her chest, turning her head away from him. “Just so you know, the feeling’s mutual. I don’t like you either!”

Sougo shoots her a glare, but kneels down in front of the grave. He places the Jump beside Kagura’s earlier offerings of a carton of strawberry milk and some mismatched flowers that she’d spent all morning scavenging. He briefly utters something too quiet for her to hear, and stands, turning around to face her. His eyes lock on to her once again. “And what the hell has happened to you? You’ve lost your stupid accent and now you’re trying to act like a tsundere.”

“I could say the same thing about you, uh huh, you Kenshin wannabe!” Kagura retorts, and then, realising her slip up, claps a hand over her mouth. 

“Oh, so you were faking it.” Sougo smirks like he’s proud of his discovery, and Kagura jabs her umbrella in his direction, to which he ducks out of the way with ease. “What will  _ danna _ say when he comes back to see you acting like someone you’re not?” 

“It’s none of your business!” she shoots back. She bites her lip, hard. “I can’t be the Kagura everyone knew anymore. Not in this world. Not without Gin-chan.” Although she doesn’t dare show it to him, his words have made her begin to question herself in a way she hates. She’s been so sure of herself, but suddenly, just from a few words from this idiot beside her, a strange guilt is welling up inside her. As she angrily thinks over what he said, she realises something else. “You said ‘when he comes back’. Don’t you think that Gin-chan is dead like everyone else does?”

“No.” He sounds certain, and it surprises Kagura to the point where she stills, umbrella hanging in mid-air. “ _ Danna  _ is too stubborn to die like that.”

Kagura scowls, hating to be in agreement with this bastard. “He is.” She looks up at the city skyline, at the broken down buildings, the torn down terminal jagged like a scar against the clouds. “I just wonder what he’ll think of this world when he comes back.” She suddenly feels awkward at saying something like that to the person she’s supposed to hate, and when this is the first time they’ve seen each other in four years, no less. “Fight me,” she blurts out before Sougo can respond. She aims her umbrella at him again, crouching down to launch into an attack. 

He unsheathes his sword, matching her stance. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to say that.” 

The two of them clash, her umbrella slamming against his sword. They stay like that for a moment, weapons crossed, both pushing for an opening to get past. Her eyes meet his, and there is a wild eagerness in his expression, at the chance to fight an opponent as strong as himself. It’s a look Kagura knows is mirrored on her own face. It’s a look they’ve both shared many times. 

It’s been several years, but suddenly she’s hit her with the feeling that no time has passed at all. They begin exchanging blows, dodging each other’s weapons and then limbs, and fall into the well-rehearsed rhythm of their fights. Kagura fires her umbrella, and Sougo ducks out of the way, slashing at her with his sword from behind. In return, she moves out of the path of his blade, kicking out at him. It’s a cycle of attack-dodge-attack-dodge, and the two of them only really manage to inflict scrapes and bruises on each other.

“You’ve got stronger,” Sougo says as he nearly misses a bullet from her umbrella. “But you’re not strong enough to beat me, yet.”

Kagura narrowly evades a swing of his sword. “I could say the same for you!”

Wind howls, and snow falls thicker and faster than ever. They don’t notice, however, their minds set solely on their opponent. Sometime along the way, they lose their weapons and knock each other to the ground. They exchange fists and kicks until both of them are aching with bruises. The snow on the ground soaks through their clothes and they shiver with cold, but it hardly matters. Eventually, when they are too exhausted to trade blows, they collapse side by side on the frozen grass.

“I got the last punch,” Kagura forces out, chest heaving. “I won.”

Sougo gives a halfhearted kick to her shin. “Now you didn’t.” 

“That’s cheating, uh huh,” she shoots back, and then realises her mistake again. Damn it. She really thought she managed to stop herself from saying that all the time. It’s that idiot’s fault, making her feel like her old self. If not for the gravestone towering above them, and the name carved into it, she could almost imagine she was back in those long gone days. 

Despite her irritation at Sougo and the fact that she’s almost freezing to death and every inch of her body aches, Kagura feels a strange sort of contentment. For the first time in five years, she had forgotten about the plague, about her and Shinpachi’s harsh words, about  _ Anego _ fading away in that hospital bed, about Gin-chan never coming home. Maybe she should feel guilty about losing track of the present, but she feels a small flicker of hope renewed within her. If she and the sadist are able to still fight like this, like they used to, despite everything, then maybe there’s the chance that things can go back to how they used to be. At least a little. 

“Gin-chan will come home, yes. Shinpachi and I won't fight anymore. Zura and the gorilla will get out of jail, and  _ Anego _ will get healthy enough to kick the gorilla stalker to the ground. Gin-chan and the mayo freak will fight like they used to, and Shinpachi will even get his straight man retorts back,” she says under her breath. “You’ll stay and fight me everyday until then, yes, sadist.”

“You’re right, I’m not leaving until I’ve beaten you,” he replies, seemingly having heard her. She’s surprised he doesn’t object he normally would to anything she says.

Kagura rolls onto her side to shoot him a glare. “You’ll never beat me, yep.” 

“Sounds like you want me to stay forever, China girl,” Sougo says teasingly. 

Kagura kicks out at him, ignoring the ache and stiffness in her leg. “As if! I hope you leave and never come back. In fact, not seeing your stupid face for four years is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, uh huh!”

“You told me to stay, idiot.”

“To use as a punching bag, yep!” 

Despite herself, Kagura can’t stop herself from smiling a little. Throwing insults, childishly arguing with him, these things are so familiar and easy to fall back into. 

Sougo gets to his feet, brushing snow from his clothes. He looks down at her. “Get up.” 

“Why should I listen to you?” Kagura responds petulantly, but begins to stand (she was going to anyway!). She winces as she puts weight on her left foot—she’s pretty sure she sprained her ankle sometime during the fight. 

“I found Hijikata’s stash of emergency rations the other day,” Sougo tells her. “A lot of it is mayonnaise, as you’d expect, but there’s actually a lot of expensive food that’s hard to get your hands on these days. I’m sure he’s been saving it for a special occasion.” 

“And?” Kagura questions, unsure where he’s taking this. She shakes snow from her hair, eyes searching for the umbrella she abandoned midway through the fight. 

“And obviously I planned to eat it all to spite Hijikata,” he continues, picking up his sword from the snow and putting it back in its scabbard. “But there’s no way I could before he notices; there’s too much. You’re the only person I know who’s enough of a gluttonous pig that could manage before he has any idea.”

Kagura spots her umbrella on the ground and grabs it, waving it at his head. “Oi, who the hell are you calling a pig?!”

Sougo ignores her and turns towards the cemetery gates, beginning to walk away down the path. “So are you coming or not?” 

Kagura grits her teeth and opens her umbrella, swinging it over her shoulder. She breaks into a jog to catch him up, ignoring the pain in her ankle as best she can. “Well, obviously I’d never say no to free food!” 

The two of them fall into step, but lasts for only a few seconds. They soon end up breaking into a run, racing each other to reach the gates first. Kagura’s limbs ache, her lungs burn, and she’s shivery and sluggish from the cold, but a small smile finds its way onto her lips as she attempts jostle her way past Sougo. 

She glances up at the sky for a moment. The impenetrable grey clouds have begun to dissipate, the warm orange light of the setting sun brightening the desolate city and casting a golden glow over everything. She wonders if it’s cliche to envision that as her hope. 

It probably is, but despite that, she can’t ignore how the aching emptiness inside her feels a little eased. Maybe it won’t last long, but she’ll cling to it as tightly as she can while it does. 

“You lose,” Sougo informs her, breathing hard.

Kagura blinks herself back to reality, to realise she’s slowed considerably and he’s already leaning against the cemetery gate. She scowls. She can’t believe she let herself get lost in her thoughts enough for him to get ahead of her by several metres! “Not my fault you sprained my ankle during the fight! If you hadn’t done that, I’d definitely have won, uh huh.” 

“Not my fault you’re careless enough to let that happen in the first place,” he responds, looking infuriatingly smug at the fact he won the race. 

“I’ll definitely win next time!” She huffs at him, passing through the gate without looking back. However, an instant later her stomach lets out a loud growl, ruining the effect. “Hurry up, sadist, I can’t wait all day for that food!” 

Sougo catches up to her, shooting her an unimpressed look. “Don’t make it sound like I’m giving you charity, China girl. Although I guess I could take pity on the sore loser here.” 

“You’re the sore loser here, yep!” Kagura retorts. “Remember that I won our fight!” 

The pair of them continue to argue back and forth as they wind their way through the abandoned city streets. Before they reach their destination, a rematch is arranged and a good few more blows are exchanged, but it’s as companionable as Kagura and Sougo can be to each other. 

The sky brightens further, the clouds parting to reveal the sun low against the broken skyline. It casts everything in orange and pink and red, before slipping behind the jagged tops of decaying buildings and being replaced by a clear night sky. Despite everything, Kagura feels as content as she has in a long, long time. What’s just happened has served as a reminder that no matter how much time has passed, some things can still remain the same. Things can go back to how they were, even if it is just to fight with this annoying idiot. Gin-chan can still come back. Before she knew it, her hope was wilting away in the long, cold nights and the endless hours alone. However, she can feel it spreading its branches again. Even if that is because of the presence of the worst possible person, she supposes, shooting Sougo a glare. But perhaps he’s better than nothing. Even being around most irritating presences can be better than being fully alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> you can interpret sougo’s intentions with giving kagura hijikata’s food however you like... you know how he is, but also maybe it’s his way of actually doing something nice for kagura in an extremely roundabout way, you choose :) but also he may have already added tabasco to all of it already (if that’s even available in the movie universe) 
> 
> i’ve been so nervous to post this, and i’ve been editing it for like over a week lol my friend had to convince me to post it but i’m still rly not happy so i’ll likely continue to edit it. they are also probably ooc cause i’m not used to writing them yet but i tried my best. i just really missed seeing okita and kagura interaction in the movie and i recently rewatched the whole of gintama lol, i have rekindled my obsession and i just love these two so much, and i find their canonical relationship so interesting, and i also love the ship sjsjsjs so you can interpret this fic however you like, be it how they are in canon or in an actual shippy way, i really don’t mind 
> 
> oh and sorry if this drags at the end, i really wasn’t sure how to end it lol
> 
> if you liked this, comments and kudos are really appreciated. thanks and hopefully i’ll return with more gintama fics :’)


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